Teachers Send Us Your F.A.R.T.S.
Our dream is create a blog that is powered by the stories of others. If you have a story to share form your classroom or any educational setting you can send them our way. Look in the right hand column and hit the email F.A.R.T.S. button. If you are not interested in sharing send this post to others. We need F.A.R.T.S badly.
Teacher Joke: Homework
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Funny Video: Kid Gets Busted For Upskirting A Teacher
Think back to when you were a kid. How many of your teachers would you want to take an upskirt shot of?
9 Hilarious, Fantastic, Superfluous, Outrageous, Funny Teacher T-Shirts
O.K. Maybe an over exaggeration, but worth checking out anyway.
Students Give Me An ED ACHE by upnorthpw
Many more tee shirt designs available on www.zazzle.com
See other Youth School Academics T-Shirts
Teacher Searching For A MOMENT OF ED by upnorthpw
Get t shirts on zazzle
View other Humor Sayings T-Shirts
Science Retro Funny Tee by kaptainmyke
Buy t-shirts at zazzle.com
Browse other Humor Sayings T-Shirts
Teaching Ninja by InnerEgo
design your own tshirts At www.zazzle.com
See other Education Childcare T-Shirts
I Teach,Therefore I'm Broke by jgibby7
Make Custom TShirt On Zazzle
View other Youth School Academics T-Shirts
Students Give Me An ED ACHE by upnorthpw
Many more tee shirt designs available on www.zazzle.com
See other Youth School Academics T-Shirts
Teacher Searching For A MOMENT OF ED by upnorthpw
Get t shirts on zazzle
View other Humor Sayings T-Shirts
Science Retro Funny Tee by kaptainmyke
Buy t-shirts at zazzle.com
Browse other Humor Sayings T-Shirts
Teaching Ninja by InnerEgo
design your own tshirts At www.zazzle.com
See other Education Childcare T-Shirts
I Teach,Therefore I'm Broke by jgibby7
Make Custom TShirt On Zazzle
View other Youth School Academics T-Shirts
F.A.R.T.S. - The Swallowed Wedding Ring
F.A.R.T.S.:
As some of you know, I'm an art teacher for an inner city school. It's crazy in general, but this was really off the wall. The other day, one of the fifth graders came in to school very distraught. His teacher sent him to the guidance counselor because he wouldn't talk to her about what was bothering him. The boy lives with his dad, as his parents are divorced. The boy told the counselor that he was upset because his father was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and the boy didn't like Dad's girlfriend. "It's ok, though..." he said to the counselor, "they can't get married now." The counselor asked why and the boy replied, "Because I swallowed the ring this morning!" So the counselor had to call the father and explain and now they have to monitor, um, his bowel movements to retrieve the ring. He's going to be okay, but I'm sure the father and his bride-to-be are not very happy.
It sounds like a sitcom, but I swear this really happened. Truth is stranger than fiction.
As some of you know, I'm an art teacher for an inner city school. It's crazy in general, but this was really off the wall. The other day, one of the fifth graders came in to school very distraught. His teacher sent him to the guidance counselor because he wouldn't talk to her about what was bothering him. The boy lives with his dad, as his parents are divorced. The boy told the counselor that he was upset because his father was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and the boy didn't like Dad's girlfriend. "It's ok, though..." he said to the counselor, "they can't get married now." The counselor asked why and the boy replied, "Because I swallowed the ring this morning!" So the counselor had to call the father and explain and now they have to monitor, um, his bowel movements to retrieve the ring. He's going to be okay, but I'm sure the father and his bride-to-be are not very happy.
It sounds like a sitcom, but I swear this really happened. Truth is stranger than fiction.
Funny Teacher Video: Student Survey Highlights
This is great. I would like to see what this guy looks like. I wonder what my surveys would say over the years.
Funny Teacher Quotes
"To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble."
"I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally."
"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."
"Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years."
"You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day."
"As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools."
Wise Advice From Kids
Here's another connection of wisdom from the young ones.
- Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
- Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14
- Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
- Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13
- Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13
- Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11
- Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, 12
- Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.- Andrew, 9
- Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.- Armir, 9
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11
- If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15
- Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
- Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
Presents For Teacher
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"
Vote Bob
This gentleman won the Vice Presidency in his school because of this speech. It's crude, but quite funny. Were his teachers paying attention? His health teacher would be proud...
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Funny Student Email: Don't Mess With My Vacation
This one came the week before classes stared in August:
Dear Professor Zenprof,
You don't know me, but I am registered for your [advanced undergrad] course. But my family will still be on vacation for the first two weeks of classes, so all my professors are sending me the lecture notes and assignments so I won't be behind when I get there after vacation. PLease fedex them to [address]. Sincerely,
Amanda [Lastname]
When I replied that no, I would not do that, that the experience of in class work, discussion, and listening was vital and she would get zeroes for assignments missed during that time, she wrote back:
[note lack of salutation & comma problems]
Well, I think this is really unfair, because, after all I will be cutting into my vacation time, to do the extra work of your class, out here in Mexico, when I would rather be enoying myself. I am considering dropping your class because of this.
Amanda
Dear Professor Zenprof,
You don't know me, but I am registered for your [advanced undergrad] course. But my family will still be on vacation for the first two weeks of classes, so all my professors are sending me the lecture notes and assignments so I won't be behind when I get there after vacation. PLease fedex them to [address]. Sincerely,
Amanda [Lastname]
When I replied that no, I would not do that, that the experience of in class work, discussion, and listening was vital and she would get zeroes for assignments missed during that time, she wrote back:
[note lack of salutation & comma problems]
Well, I think this is really unfair, because, after all I will be cutting into my vacation time, to do the extra work of your class, out here in Mexico, when I would rather be enoying myself. I am considering dropping your class because of this.
Amanda
Funny Student Email To Professor
Professor Garcia,
Can I please get some extra credit in light of the last test which didnt go so well? I know I'm not doing as well as I could but I really love your class and think you're a great teacher and I just think I deserve the chance to do as well as I know I can. Please please please let me know what sort of assignment I can do.
My reply:
Dear Josephine,
No. If you could have done better, you should have.
Sincerely yours,
Professor Garcia
Can I please get some extra credit in light of the last test which didnt go so well? I know I'm not doing as well as I could but I really love your class and think you're a great teacher and I just think I deserve the chance to do as well as I know I can. Please please please let me know what sort of assignment I can do.
My reply:
Dear Josephine,
No. If you could have done better, you should have.
Sincerely yours,
Professor Garcia
New Story From 5th Grade Teacher: Germ Intestine
One day a few weeks ago I was taking my third graders to the bathroom and one of the boys starts coughing and spitting and making all kinds of noises. I said, "What's the matter??" and he said, "Can I go rinse my mouth out? There's something gross in it!" So, of course, I told him to go. He comes back out of the bathroom and the conversation went like this:
Me: "What was in your mouth?"
him: "Germ intestine."
Me: "Germ intestine? What's that?"
him: "You know, that stuff in the bottle on your desk."
Me: "Hand sanitizer?"
him: "Yeah, that. It was on my hands and I got it in my mouth"
Me: "What was in your mouth?"
him: "Germ intestine."
Me: "Germ intestine? What's that?"
him: "You know, that stuff in the bottle on your desk."
Me: "Hand sanitizer?"
him: "Yeah, that. It was on my hands and I got it in my mouth"
Lost Homework
Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework?
Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.
Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it.
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