Funny Student Email: Don't Mess With My Vacation

This one came the week before classes stared in August:

Dear Professor Zenprof,
You don't know me, but I am registered for your [advanced undergrad] course. But my family will still be on vacation for the first two weeks of classes, so all my professors are sending me the lecture notes and assignments so I won't be behind when I get there after vacation. PLease fedex them to [address]. Sincerely,
Amanda [Lastname]

When I replied that no, I would not do that, that the experience of in class work, discussion, and listening was vital and she would get zeroes for assignments missed during that time, she wrote back:
[note lack of salutation & comma problems]

Well, I think this is really unfair, because, after all I will be cutting into my vacation time, to do the extra work of your class, out here in Mexico, when I would rather be enoying myself. I am considering dropping your class because of this.
Amanda

Funny Student Email To Professor

Professor Garcia,

Can I please get some extra credit in light of the last test which didnt go so well? I know I'm not doing as well as I could but I really love your class and think you're a great teacher and I just think I deserve the chance to do as well as I know I can. Please please please let me know what sort of assignment I can do.

My reply:

Dear Josephine,

No. If you could have done better, you should have.

Sincerely yours,

Professor Garcia